» Dont Touch My Beard

You can kick my head and punch me in the nose
and beat me right untill the break of dawn
Or take a heavy bat and smack me cross the back
And give me a thrashing with all your brawn

You can tie my arms and really go to school
Smash all my teeth out on to the floor
Or even take a whip to slice my skin to strips
You might even find that I will ask for more

Just don't touch my beard, my mighty dwarven beard
That's all a dwarf has got to say
And if you touch my beard, my mighty dwarven beard
Then me laddie your gonna pay
Ooo

You can Smack me down and really go to Town
Just like Yoda did in Star Wars two
You can go an get some friends, and proceed to take in turns
to leave me laying here all black and blue

And just to be mean, you can stab me in the spleen
Go and break all my bones one by one
Oh even take my jewels, run them over burning coals
Then take some time to collapse my lung

Just don't touch my beard, my mighty dwarven beard
Don't think I could take the Shame
And if you touch my beard, my mighty dwarven beard
You will be in for a world of pain
Ooo

Just don't touch my beard, my mighty dwarven beard
It would be a stain upon my Pride
And if you touch my beard, my mighty dwarven beard
There ain't nowhere that you could hide
Ooo

Just don't touch my beard, my mighty dwarven beard
It just wouldn't be very Smart
And if you touch my beard, my mighty dwarven beard
I'd be forced to come and rip out your heart
Ooo